Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
