so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize