my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
