how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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