im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize