imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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