wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
