i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
