just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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