I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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