Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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