You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
