Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
