On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
