if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
