i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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