I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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