absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
