I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
