apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
