I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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