what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
