The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
