im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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