I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
