I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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