i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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