I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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