we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
