I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
