you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
