Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
