dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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