no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
