and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
