yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize