he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
