hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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