; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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