Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
