Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
