How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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