I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
