Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize