so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize