I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
