i need an iv and a liver transplant
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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