True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
