high people should be assigned attendants
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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