Green mimosas i think yes
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
