I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
