Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
