She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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