In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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