I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
