he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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