idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i wish my penis had a tongue
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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