YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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