In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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