I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
