stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
