As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
