So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
